My biggest story of how life was showing me that I was out of alignment with what I truly wanted was when I could not conceive my second child.
After suffering from secondary infertility for three years and being in my late thirties I was under the help of the fertility clinic and a fertility specialist.
After many tests and ‘investigations’ I was told that they couldn’t find anything wrong but it wasn’t going to happen without IVF.
Financially this was not a possibility.
So, we resided ourselves to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen and to be happy with our lot as we did already have a son.
But something within me, could not let this go.
My body had done it before, so I knew deep inside that it could do it again.
Something ‘energetically’ was blocking it, so I set about on my own journey of healing.
I had experienced a very traumatic birth with my son, and come to the realisation that I had not fully healed from this. So, although consciously I wanted another baby more than anything, subconsciously I was blocking this as I knew that it could potentially mean more trauma and pain.
When I noticed my ‘self -talk’ jargon, it was all negative, and constantly on repeat.
“This is never going to happen to me.” “I’m getting too old”.
Your thoughts create your reality so subconsciously I was continually telling myself that this was never going to happen – so of course energetically, that was creating my reality.
Constantly needing this month to be the month that I feel pregnant was putting so much pressure and expectation and desperate energy into it.
I was focusing on the lack.
That lack was then taking over my reality.
Physically I knew I needed to reset my body. I knew the most effective way to do this was with water fast, which I researched to make sure that it was all done safely.
Mind, body, and emotions.
So, the final piece I needed to align was my belief
I had to fully believe that it was possible.
Not just consciously but fully embodiment of this belief.
Visualizing how it would fully feel to have this baby girl in my life, in my arms.
No pressure about when this would happen, just fully being at peace knowing
That it was going to happen when it was right, no pressure, no rush.
By letting go of the need to control when or how it would happen.
Well long story short, I got my baby girl who is now nearly ten years old.
My son is now 14.